5 Phrases Helpful for Conflict Resolution

Published on 30 May 2025 at 11:58

Improving conflict skills with your partner begins with learning to communicate openly and respectfully, even during disagreements. This means actively listening without interrupting, acknowledging each other’s feelings, and expressing your own needs clearly without blame or defensiveness. Using “I” statements—such as “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…”—can reduce the chances of your partner feeling attacked and help keep the conversation productive. Setting aside time to talk when both partners are calm can also prevent arguments from escalating emotionally. 

     Another key skill is practicing emotional regulation and empathy during conflict. Recognizing when you're becoming overwhelmed and taking a short break to cool down can prevent impulsive or hurtful comments. At the same time, trying to see the situation from your partner’s perspective fosters mutual understanding. Rather than aiming to "win" the argument, focus on resolving the issue in a way that respects both of your needs and strengthens your connection. Conflict, when handled constructively, can actually bring couples closer by deepening trust and collaboration. 

Here are 5 helpful Example Phrases to Use During Conflict: 

  • "I feel ___ when ___ because ___." 
    Example: “I feel hurt when I’m not included in your plans because it makes me feel unimportant.” 
    (This keeps the focus on your feelings, not accusations.) 
  • "Can we take a break and come back to this when we’re both calmer?" 
    (Helps de-escalate rising tension and encourages healthy timing.) 
  • "What I’m hearing you say is..." 
    (Reflects your partner’s words back to them, showing you’re listening and giving them a chance to clarify.) 
  • "I want us to work through this together." 
    (Signals collaboration, not competition.) 
  • "What do you need from me right now?" 
    (Demonstrates empathy and willingness to support.) 

 

Additionally, here are 4 Conflict-Resolution Tools that can help develop a safe space during conflict:

  • The 20-Minute Rule: If either of you is feeling overwhelmed, agree to take a 20-minute break and return to the conversation when you're both calmer. 
  • "Speaker-Listener" Technique: Take turns speaking without interruption. One person talks, and the other listens and summarizes what was heard before responding. 
  • Use a Soft Start-Up: Begin difficult conversations gently (e.g., “I’ve been feeling a little off about something and want to talk to you about it”) to avoid putting your partner on the defensive. 
  • Create Ground Rules: Agree ahead of time on boundaries for arguments—no name-calling, no raising voices, take breaks when needed. 

 

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